Still No Bikini

Because I had absolutely nothing better to do, I sat around and listened for Alice to arrive with my truck. I never heard her arrive, but when I went to go look out the window, there it was! Sitting in the driveway!! Like magic!! Stupid magic fairy girl.

This isn’t actually something you need to know and is merely thrown in to make the book lengthier. Did it work?

I totally expected Friday to suck. And it did suck. Like a sucky sucking thing that sucked. Like a cheap whore in a back alley. Inconsequential Girl #1 cackled gleefully because everyone thought I had fainted. I shoved a cracker in her mouth and told her to go suck Mike. She looked kind of pleased at the idea.

Whore.

She was really curious as to what Edward had wanted during lunch. I told her to bug off and finish my math homework. She grumbled and obeyed. I’d have to keep a tighter rein on her now. She was all huffy and stuff because I didn’t give her a good story to gossip about. Whore.

Friday really really sucked most because my beloved Edward wasn’t there!! SOBSOBSOB. He had even told me he wasn’t going to be there because he was going on a camping trip, but I stilled hoped against hope that he’d be there. But he wasn’t.

And gasp!! Someone didn’t like me!! It was Inconsequential Girl #3, actually. I never even talked to her!! I was going to have to beat her beatingly with something. But Mike told her to shut it and she did. Maybe I’d get him an even better collar for Christmas…

Charlie knew all the kids that were going to the beach and all their parents and all their grandparents and all their pets and all their history and stuff like that. He liked that I was going to the beach with them, God knows why. “Sure Bella, go out in the freezing cold to the beach where wind chill will push the temperature down farther.”

I woke up the next day to bright brightness shining brightly through my window. Brighteningly. The sun was out! Yay! And there was a patch of blue sky!! Yay!! Ohmigawd it was so awesome!!! It was the first time I’d seen sun in over a month!!! It was cold though, so still no bikini.

So I left the window and went out to the appointed spot to meet everyone. Inconsequential Girl #3 gave me a dirty look so I shoved a cracker in her mouth and told her to bow down to me. Bitch. Mike was happy to see me though!

The beach was very grey. The trees looked kind of grey, the sand was grey, the rocks were grey, the sky was kind of greyish blue, the water was grey.  It was greyingly grey and kind of depressing. Mike made a fire from the driftwood that came in off the ocean and it was blue. Fucking blue fire!! Apparently Mike was magical too. I’d have to keep my eye on him.

Then we went on a hike to the tidal pools. We had to hike through the woods to get to them, even though that makes no sense at all because tidal pools are generally found ON the beach, therefor not requiring us to walk through woods to get there. Except in this book because the author is an idiot.

When we got back, Indians from the nearby reservation had come to join us. I didn’t get any of their names because they’re Indians; who cares? We have their land now, what do they matter? I only got that one of their names was Jacob.

I sat with Inconsequential Girl #2. She was quiet so she never bugged me. Yay! She was my new best friend. After we ate lunch people started to scatter and do their own thing. Fuckers! They’re supposed to stay and watch me because I’m their ruling overlord! UGH! Obviously my hold on them was slipping… Probably due to Inconsequential Girl #1 and #3. They were bitch whores. I’d have to kill them later.

Jacob came over and told me my name. What the hell? Again? Was this a time skip and I was back at the first day of school? Why couldn’t anyone just realize that yes, I was the prettiest person there therefor I had to be Bella. Duh. But apparently I knew his family! So, since he was cute and all that, I spent the next bit of time stroking his ego and talking about cars, a subject I had already admitted to knowing nothing about!

Then Inconsequential Girl #3 decided to butt in and pretend to be better than me. Jacob shut her up though. I think I found my new lost puppy! It was so cute, watching him brush her off inconsequentialness. I batted my lashes at him and cooed.

“Come walk with me,” I said, still cooing cooingly. He had won my adoration because he shut up a bitch. Yay! So even though I was seventeen and he was fifteen, I flirted shamelessly. “So, what was that big tall man who’s name I think is Mondo Pain say about the Cullens?” I asked alluringly.

“Oh, they’re not supposed to come on the reservation at all, but I can’t tell you why,” he replied, looking allured.

“Ooo, tell me why?”

“Okay, but only in a weird cryptic story.”

And so he proceeded to tell me a weird story involving werewolves and vampires. And then he said that the Cullens [i]were[/i] vampires. Haha, as if.

Then Mike and Jessica approached and Mike stared daggers at Jacob who taunted him and stuff and I just secretly flirted with Jacob ’cause I’d totally used him in order to hear about him talk about the Cullens. That wasn’t stalkerlike at all.

And we left ’cause it was gonna rain soon. Ugh.

I am terrible at keeping track of when I’m supposed to post these chapters. I keep forgetting! I haven’t actualyl worked on it for like… A week. >_< I know, I know, that’s bad! I’m on Chapter 9 right now. Nearly done with it, just… Been bogged down with art. I’ve discovered that I can draw guys! Yay! But now that the freebie Easter event on Gaia is over, I’ve got more time to finish up my commissions and start pumping out SVN chapters again.

Uhm. Was I supposed to post one yesterday? >_<;

Not Listening to You!

I skipped off to English in a daze because skipping is awesome and I was just so shocked that Edward actually couldn’t keep himself away from me. Well, I wasn’t all that shocked because everyone loves me, but I didn’t have to work to bring him around which I thought I would have to do. But I didn’t because I’m just so amazing.

Even though I was late I didn’t get in trouble like most people would because I’m amazing and can get away with whatever I want. Perks of being an amazingly gorgeous and smart princess.

Mike wasn’t sitting next to me today but I didn’t notice because I never pay attention to him anyway. But then he and Eric came up to me and walked me to my next class so they must have totally bought the whole Seattle excuse. Mike kept yapping about going to the beach. I didn’t know why he’d want to go to the beach when the weather is overcast all the time and the temperature was supposed to be in the forties. Did he expect an iceberg to float by or something?

I didn’t pay attention to anything all morning because I was totally [strike]obsessed[/strike] in love with Edward and he had given me this look like he wanted to pull me down and shag me rotten and it was just so romantic!! Part of me thought I must be dreaming because it was just so easy.

In fact, come lunch time I was all nervous and thought that maybe I really had dreamed it! That would’ve totally sucked. Like, suckingly sucked. There was a big group of people around my table and they were all talking and planning stupid stuff for the dance and stuff. I didn’t care because dances are stupid.

I looked around eagerly because I was eager to see if Edward was eagerly there looking eagerly around to see if I was there eagerly. He wasn’t so I was sad.

I got all mopey and bought lemonade because I had extra money and sat down and wanted to smash it on Inconsequential Girl #1′s head, but before I could she said, “Edward is staring at you again.”

I looked up and saw Edward was sitting by himself staring at me staringly so I stared back. Then he made a come-hither gesture with his finger and it turned me on and I left the others because they were really stupid and Edward was so perfect. I think Inconsequential Girl #1 was glaringly at me glaringly. He told me to sit and I sat because I was lost in his eyes.

He was just so perfectly perfect it was perfect!! He was so dreamy and pale and stuff and I kept pinching myself under the table because I thought he was too perfect to be real. But he was real and he was mine mine mine!! Or he would be, he just didn’t realize it yet.

“What are you doing?” Edward asked curiously with curiosity.

I blinked at him, confused. “What?”

“That!” He pointed at my face. “You’re face keeps scrunching up like you have gas.”

“I do NOT have gas! I do not have any waste-like bodily functions, thank you.”

“Are you one too?”

“One what?”

“Oh shit. Never mind.” He looked around nervously before fiddling with his perfect hands on the table. He was really confusing but since he was so gorgeously gorgeous and perfectly perfect, I decided I’d let it slide this time. But he owed me, fucker.

“Never mind what?”

“Exactly.”

I stared at him for a second. Holy fuck nuggets he was good. “You’re really confusing.”

“I know.” He beamed at me happily in a happy way that was happy. I think he was kind of happy.

“So, why are we sitting together?” Apart from my being fabulous, of course.

“Because I’m gonna be a bad boy.”

“Oh?” I perked up at this, because it sounded very yummy.

“Not like that.”

“Oh…” Well damn.

“Your friends are jealous because they want to sit with you.”

“Who cares what they want?”

“I might just keep you.”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to be friends?” That was what he said right?

“Yeah but you’re stupid and won’t listen so it doesn’t matter.” How dare he!! I was way smarter than he was!! How dare he insult me in such a way! Oh but he was so dreamy…

“So as long as I’m an idiot we’ll be friends?”

“Seems like it.”

“Works for me.”

We went all silent for a long time because there wasn’t really anything to say. Edward’s face went all blank and stuff and he just stared at me while zoning out. Then he said, “What are you thinking?” I was astonished because I totally thought he had gone off into his own little world, but apparently he had not. I blushed because I had been thinking of picking my nose since he wasn’t paying attention, even though he was paying attention.

I stared at him and said, “What you are.”

He got all huffy and pissy again and told me to forget it because it wasn’t important. Which only made me think that he actually was something abnormal, since he never denied that he wasn’t normal. Maybe he was Spiderman, because that’s a totally logical explanation.

“Well what do you think I am?” he asked finally. But I just shook my head because I wasn’t stupid enough to actually tell him I thought he was Spiderman. He’d have to kill me then. “Won’t you tell me?” I shook my head again and made a gesture with my hand to symbolize that I’d zipped my mouth shut. He gave me an impatient look. “This is annoying.”

“Now you know how it feels so there!”

“Just one?”

“Okay, are you Spiderman?” He was just too pretty to be mad at.

“Uhm, no.”

“Okay, that was all I had.”

“You’re not very creative.”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not good.”

We’d been over this before. He was trying to be a bad boy. “So you’re dangerous?”

“No shit Sherlock.” Oh yeah, wasn’t he trying to tell me this the whole time?

“Why didn’t you just tell me you’re dangerous?”

“Because it’s not cryptic enough and the author needed something to force us to interact in some way and give you a reason to have me on your mind.”

“I don’t need a reason,” I said, scoffing scoffingly.

“Fair enough.”

At that point I realized that the cafeteria was nearly empty so I stood up and ran to class, expecting Edward to have followed me, but he didn’t. Apparently the bastard was ditching. Oh well, his loss right?

Except we were going to find out our blood types in Biology and I don’t like blood. Even though half the time I’m emo and carry around a razor blade in my pocket. I feigned sickness and the teacher had Mike take me to the nurse’s office. Score! I got off scott-free! I told Mike I wanted to sit down, so I did.

And then Edward rounded the corner. Damn it! I didn’t want him to see me all pale and clammy from scaredy-ness. “Bella?” I didn’t say anything because I wanted to pretend he wasn’t there so I could be all sickly around people I don’t care about, not my future husband. “What’s wrong?”

“I think she fainted,” Mike said helpfully. Even though he wasn’t helpful at all.

“Bell?” Edward leaned down towards me. “Can you hear me?”

“No I said.”

He laughed and slung me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “Go back to class, I’ll take her to the nurse’s office.”

“No, she’s mine!” Mike whined. I told him to shut it and go back to class so he did.

The nurse was very surprised to see me carried into the office and placed on the only little cot there. “She fainted in Biology. They’re blood typing.”

“Again? Well she’ll be fine, go to class.”

“I’m supposed to stay with her.” The nurse let him alone after that, but every question I answered for the nurse had him stifling laughter. Cocky bastard.

“I bet Mike is all put out now.”

“He hates my guts,” Edward say cheerfully with lots of cheer.

“Oh fun.”

“Let me get you out of class because I can.” And he did. “I’m also driving you home. Alice will drop off your truck.”

“What?”

“Just listen to me.”

“Okay.” I liked how he was in charge, just like a man should be. Women are too frail, we need men to take care of us. Edward was the only man able to take care of me because he’s just so fucking pretty.

I started babbling about my mom and her bright pink GPS navigational vibrator named Phil that she “married” and then we were at my house. So instead of letting him go get his family from school, I stuck around and asked him about them. He glared at me and told me to get out and I did.

“Don’t do anything stupid this weekend,” he said, then drove away. I stuck out my tongue at the car as he drove away.

Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner

In my dream it was dark and the only light came from Edward’s skin. He was dressed in a bright pink tutu and even that seemed dull against the brightness of his skin. He looked like a freaking light bulb! He was prancing away from me and the only time I ever saw his face was when he did a little twirl and hopped into the air like a flamboyant gay man who just found out he had enough money to afford a sex change operation. After that he constantly appeared in my dreams in some form of drag. I never could figure out why. The dreams were so vivid and startling that it kept me up nights. It really sucked because I could swear I was getting bags under my eyes. Gross.

The next month was really really sucky because Edward wouldn’t talk to me at all. I started wondering if he was regretting saving my life. And then I got all depressed because we were supposed to get married and be all gorgeously gorgeous together and we couldn’t because Edward hated me. I got all emo and started taking more emo myspace pictures and once again started debating if I should slit my wrists and let them bleed blood out of my wrists which would be bleeding. With blood.

Apparently my mom caught on to how depressed and upset I was but I just told her to shove it so she went to go find Phil. Must suck to lose your GPS device, especially when it’s so… useful. I tried talking to Edward the day after The Accident, but he just gave me a disgusted look and ignored me. I was starting to realize that despite his superior looks… He was really a jackass with no personality. Not that I cared, we were going to get married. The question was how I was going to get back in his good graces.

Was I even there before?

I was completely obsessed with Edward because he was so fucking pretty. If he was female, he would prettier than me and that’s impossible. Mike really liked the fact that Edward wasn’t talking to me and he started following me even closer now and spending as much time alone with me as possible, especially in Biology, even though we weren’t alone because Edward was right there beside us at the desk I sit at that he sits at too and could hear every word because he sat at the desk I sit at beside me at that desk.

Funnily enough, the day of The Accident was the only day with snow. After that it rained and washed the snow away and for the rest of the month we had only rain and no snow. Maybe God hates me too. God must love Edward more than me, that’s the only conclusion I can come to. But it’s not logical because I have boobs, therefor making me better than Edward.

Then Inconsequential Girl #1 called and asked if she could ask Mike to the Girls’ Choice Dance in March. I told her if she kept him on his leash, I didn’t mind at all. She didn’t seem to believe me, but I told her I didn’t want to go to the dance and I didn’t. Unless it was with Edward. Then I’d go. Anyone else wasn’t worth the time.

The next day Inconsequential Girl #1 wouldn’t talk to me or stand by me or look at me or anything. And Mike was all quiet and weird too. It creeped me out. He lingered in Biology as usual before the bell rang. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. “Spit it out,” I ordered him.

“I wanna go to the dance with you,” he whined whiningly.

“I’m going to Seattle.”

“Oh…” He sidled off to his seat dejectedly. I think Edward was grinning but my new tactic was to ignore him entirely so I did.

Strangely at the end of class as I was gathering my things, I heard him call my name. “Oh, are you talking me now?” I asked snidely.

“Er… No.”

“Then why are you talking to me?”

“Because I wanted to tell you that we shouldn’t be friends.”

“Why don’t you just say it! You wish you’d let me die! I HATE YOU!” My emo-ness had come out and a grabbed my stuff, then tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face, my books and things flying every where. Casually, Edward picked up my things and stacked them neatly on the table and walked out the door.

I climbed to my feet and went to my next class.

Actually, before I could get to my next class, Pizza Face stopped me and asked me to the dance. I told him no because he has a pizza face. Then I went to my next class. Gym sucked.

After that I hurried to my truck and threw my stuff in and started the engine. I could see Edward watching me, looking so amused and haughty. I wanted to punch something because he was so damn beautiful and still not mine! Life isn’t fair and it should be because I’m better than everyone else! In my angry rush, I pulled out and hit a car that happened to be driven by the same person I’d squished before. This time their head was bleeding and they were crying hysterically. I waved a hand at them in greeting and moved on towards the exit.

Unfortunatey, Edward had pulled his shiny Volvo out in front of me and blocked it! He was apparently waiting for the rest of his perfect fucking family. I cursed them all and glared at his shiny car which was really shiny and actually kind of hurt to look at because it was so shiny. As we waited, Tokin’ Token approached and knocked on my window. I rolled it down a bit and gave him an outraged look. “Don’t touch my truck, you’ll get it dirty.”

“Yes’m,” he responded politely. “I was wondering if you had a date for the dance?” Was Token seriously asking me out after he tried to kill me? What was with the people in this town?

“I’m going to be in Seattle, actually.”

“Oh…”

“Move along, Token.” He waddled back to his car obediently and got in, waving at me happily. Now he absolutely had to be inbred. I looked forward to find the Cullens getting into the car and Edward laughing his ass off at me in the rear view mirror. I revved my engine in warning and he sobered up a little, speeding off ahead of me. I grinned and drove slowly home, muttering about how to successfully kill Edward.

Over dinner I told Charlie I was going to Seattle. He wanted to know why and I told him I was going to pick up some drugs, get drunk, and find a frat boy to play with. He just nodded and ate his echiladas. “Make sure you have plenty of money for gas,” he warned in a warning tone warningly.

I ignored him.

The next morning I pulled into the student parking lot and got out of my truck, intent on making it to my first class without running into Edward the Asshole. I dropped my keys though and stuck my butt up in the air and of course, Edward walked right into it. Crotch first. “Oh, I’m sorry!” He leaned forward over me and to the side, reaching around to pluck the keys from the puddle. This position was starting to turn me on. Crap.

He straightened and stepped around me and handed me my keys. I snatched them from him and glared glaringly. How dare he stop doi- I mean how dare he do that! “You’re really annoying.”

“You’re really amusing. I wanted to ask you something.”

“Fuck you.”

“Maybe later.” I glared at him again and he just laughed. “Want a ride to Seattle?”

I eyed him suspiciously with suspicion. “Is that some kind of crude innuendo?”

“No, should it be?” I glared at him again and he laughed in my face again. “No, I’m serious. Your truck isn’t gonna make it.”

Stupid shiny Volvo owner. “Fine.”

“Okay then.”

“Fuck you.”

“We really shouldn’t be friends.” I blinked at his sudden change of subject. He must have ADD or something.

“Why, do you have AIDs or something?”

“I might.” He blinked at me and tried to keep a straight face.

“Well if we shouldn’t be friends then why do you keep trying?”

“Because you smell yummy.”

“Works for me. Walk me to class?”

“Okay.

Disclaimer: Any racial slurs presented in this work are not my personal views. Just throwing that out there.

Almost Died and Then Didn’t!

I woke up the next day and realized that the light outside was different without it being different. Then I realized there was no fog. Then I realized it had snowed. Ew. Despite the snow this was going to be a good day because Edward was going to talk to me more I just knew it. Which meant he was starting to like me more! I knew he’d like me, no one can help but like me.

I was thinking about how Pizza Face and Mike were fighting over me and how I could possibly use this to my advantage sometime, but I couldn’t really think of a way. It didn’t matter really because Edward was going to be my gorgeously gorgeous boyfriend soon.

I grabbed a small breakfast and then headed out to my car, wondering why I had so little trouble driving on the highway to school. When I got out I noticed something shiny and silver on my truck’s tires. Charlie had put snow chains on my tires in the middle of the night. What was he, the weather man? Jesus Christ on steroids. Either way they helped me so I guess it was okay.

Suddenly I heard screeching tires and looked up and grew several new pairs of eyes so that I could see several things simultaneously because I am amazing like that. I saw Edward standing four cars down and a bunch of people gawking and a big blue van skidding out of control in my general direction. And then I almost died and then didn’t!

Something big and hard hit me and pinned me to the ground and it was cold and icy and my head hit the ground and it really hurt. And I was cold. And the ground was all wet and icky. Shit, maybe I did die, that sounds horrible…Well, maybe except the hard thing pinning me down, because that turned out to be Edward.

People started screaming for me and somehow over all the really loud screaming I could hear Edward whispering to me, “Are you alright?” Of course I wasn’t alright!! I had nearly died!!! Was he that fucking dense?

But since he saved my life and all I figured I’d be nice. “Yeah, I think so. I can’t move though.”

“Oh, sorry.” He let go of me and as soon as his iron grip loosened, all the blood went rushing through my veins and stuff (because he’d been holding me so tight he slowed circulation) and then my head started to hurt.

“Ow,” I said in surprise. Who gets hurt in a near death experience? Certainly not me, I’m too amazing for such a thing. I swear, whoever is writing this crap is so not getting stuff right. I can’t get hurt, I’m the pretty fucking princess, bitch!

“How the hell did you get over here?” He had been four cars down and then he was saving my life, and how did he manage that anyway? It didn’t make any fucking sense!!

“I was right beside you the whole time, Bella.”

“Like hell you were! I saw you four cars down! You were over there!!” He gave me this look like he thought I was crazy, but he also looked really amused. Why did he find this amusing? Was he some sick twisted necrophiliac? EW!

Before I could say anything else, a group of faces somehow managed to peer in at us and everyone started shouting at us and crying a lot. What was with these people? I was alive right? Crisis averted. But they kept shouting and crying and I heard someone say to get Tyrone out of the car or something. Figured a black dude would try to kill me. Ugh.

“You were so totally by your car.”

“No I wasn’t. I was right beside you and I pulled you out of the way.”

“If you pulled me out of the way then why are we stuck here, hmm?” He didn’t say anything, just stared at me and started wiggling his eyebrows. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m mesmerizing you.”

“You’re what?”

“Nothing. Just pretend I was beside you the whole time and I won’t have to kill you.” Oh God, he threatened to kill me! Now I know I’m in love.

“Okay, but better get an explanation sometime.”

Finally a whole crowd of people arrived to get us out of our little hole between two cars. There was like, a dozen EMTs there. Wasn’t that like half the population of Forks? What the fuck kind of small town needs twelve EMTs?

They tried to get us both on stretchers but Edward managed to avoid that, then tell them that he thought I had a concussion. Fucking bastard! But while they were putting on a stupid neck brace, I noticed that the van had a big deep impression that looked a lot like Edward’s shoulder and arm. Not to mention his brothers and sisters all looked pissed off and disapproving. Why didn’t they like me? The whole school did including Edward now since he’d also saved my life. That settled it I was going to marry him.

Then Charlie appeared and started panicking and yelling and I told him to shut up because I was fine but he didn’t believe me. Stupid Edward got to sit up front in the ambulance.

When we got to the hospital, I was rushed into a room with a row of beds and since no one actually stayed to check on me, I yanked off the neck brace and tossed it aside. A second later, they wheeled in Tyrone, the black kid from one of my classes. He had to be the only black guy in the school. I should start calling him Token.

He looked all upset and anxious and started apologizing at lightning speed, which was fine by me. “I’m okay, Token, but you look like crap.” He ignored me and continued apologizing and giving lame excuses as to why he nearly killed me. Then he asked how I got out of the way so fast.

“Edward pulled a magic trick and got me out of the way.”

“Oh, okay. I’m glad you’re alright.”

“No thanks to you, Token.” He was probably toking too. Tokin’ Token. Bastard.

They wheeled me away finally to get x-rays taken but they found nothing. Even so, they made me stay in the fucking hospital. Token kept apologizing over and over and I was getting really annoyed so I told him to shut it and he said, “Yes, Massah” and then went right on grumbling, though a bit more quietly.

Then Edward came in and I started to glare daggers at him because he was such a prick even though he had just saved my life. Even so, he was so gorgeously gorgeous that it soon softened into a swoon.

Then his dad came in and I about pissed my pants. Edward was gorgeous and so was his dad and I couldn’t handle two gorgeous guys in the same room as me without a threesome being put in order. Minus Token. Unless he wanted to tape it.

“How are you feeling?” Dr. Cullen inquired inquiringly.

“I’m fine.” And so are you Dr. Cullen, want to take my temperature? Edward can check the front and you can check the back!

“Edward said you hit your head pretty hard.”

“Hard” and “head” in the same sentence. “Is it hot in here?” Of course it was, there were two gorgeous men in the room with me!! “My head is fine.”

He leaned over and tenderly felt the tender area on my head that was tender. I winced and wished he’d drop his hands lower. “Tender?”

“I’ve had worse.”

“Alright well your father is in the waiting room so you can go home but come back if there’s any issues.” I think I have a fever, Doctor!

“Can I go to school?” I don’t know why I asked that, I didn’t really care about school unless Edward was there.

“You should probably take it easy.”

“Does Edward get to go back to school?”

Edward shot me a condescending smirk. “Of course.”

“Fuck you, I wanna go to school!”

“Most of the school is here.”

“Okay, I’ll go home.” I hopped out of bed and sidled up to Edward. “You owe me an explanation.”

“No I don’t, i saved your life.”

“That’s why you owe me an explanation. You saved my life. How?”

“You’re delirious.”

“You’re a jackass.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“Are too!” I stamped my foot and pouted. How could he argue with me? I’m always right! The princess is always right! “Did you lift the van off me?”

He laughed in my face. “What, am I Superman now?”

That was a good question. “Are you?”

“Er.. No.”

Well damn. That would’ve been really cool. “Well then how did you save me?”

“Can’t you just thank me?”

“Thank you.” I stood there and waited for more, since he obviously had a shitload of explaining to do. I wanted answers, damn it!

He stared back at me and blinked a few times. “You’re not giving up?”

“Uhh, no!”

“Crap.” Obviously he’d been hoping against the hope that I would stop asking and give up because I was so hopelessly in love with him, but I still had the hope that he would hopefully love me. Like I loved him. Hopefully.

Then we turned around and walked away from each other.

Everyone was so anxious to see me when I stepped into the waiting room and I beamed and waved all my loyal subjects. And then there was Charlie. “Oh hi.” He steered me to the door and got me in the cruiser and we drove away with me still waving happily out the window to my adoring fans.

Stupid Charlie had told my mom so of course I had to call her and tell her I was okay. About fifty bajillion times before she stopped asking and started insisting I come home. I declined her gracious offer because I was in love with Edward and I couldn’t leave because we weren’t officially together yet. Damn it. I’d have to work harder if wanted a marriage proposal by the end of week.

Though his saving my life was definitely a step in the right direction. Or something.

I decided to go to bed early because Charlie kept staring at me and I was beginning to wonder if my dad had turned into a pedophile. I wasn’t really tired though so I smoked some weed from his secret stash and hit the hay. It had to be some really fucking strong shit or something because my dreams were really weird. Edward was there prancing in a tutu.